The Flower And Vegetable Show

Written by Trevor Belshaw in Poetry on 20 Apr 2020 | Views: 27

The Flower And Vegetable Show

Something to, hopefully cheer up another Lockdown day.

My wife is a bit of a gardener, and last week she said,

'can we go, to see who wins all the prizes, at the flower and vegetable show?'

Now I'm not one for looking at marrows or gazing at plants in a pot.

But when she said, 'there's a giant veg sideshow,' I was out to the car like a shot.

We looked at some peas and some turnips, we passed by the beans and the cress,

the lettuce was lovely, the beets were sublime, but the leeks were a bit of a mess.

We found a big tent that said, 'Giants,' and joined a long queue to get in.

The man on the door checked our passes and rattled his charity tin.

The pumpkins were really enormous. The leeks came right up to my thigh,

a nineteen foot carrot was laid on the floor, with a three ton potato, nearby.

A judge was stood judging tomato's. He picked one, then sniffed, as he said,

'This bloody thing here ain't a giant, I've grown bigger myself in my shed.'

He put the tom down on a table, and pulled out his measuring tape,

but when he turned back, his eyes were agog He looked at the tom, mouth agape.

While it had sat on the table the tomato had doubled in size

he said, 'did you see that tomato? it grew right in front of my eyes.'

The tomato got big as a pumpkin then tripled in size once again

The judge stepped back as the table went crack and snapped in half, under the strain.

The people ran out as the monster tom grew, till it took all the space in the tent,

and then it blew up with an almighty splat. It really was quite an event.

The people went home quite delighted with only one tale on their lips.

About how they got covered in puree, and the town hall got splattered with pips.

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